Rush Limbaugh
Rush Limbaugh has been getting a lot of PT lately over his comments about President Obama. Now, I have been aware of Rush Limbaugh for many years, mostly for his outrageous comments that landed him on Keith Obermann's Worst Persons segment or The Daily Show. But I had never taken the time to find out who Rush Limbaugh really was. Here is a man who has risen to the top of the Republican Party and may well be the next president of the United States (45 if you will) and all I know about him is that he has a talk radio show someplace. As an Independent, who has voted for a Republican a time or two in his life, I needed to do some research to find out just how this remarkable man had risen to such heights.
First, I researched his early years. I found that he was born in Cape Girardeau, Missouri in 1951. He came from a prominent family of well respected lawyers, including a federal judge, a State Supreme Court judge, and a member of Missouri's House of Representatives. In fact, the Federal Courthouse in Cape Girardeau is named for Limbaugh's grandfather. His family had a long tradition of public service.
By now, I was curious to find out which prestigious law school Little Little Rush (he was the Third, after all, so his father would be Little Rush) would chose to attend. With such pedigree, he surely had his pick. Would it be Yale? Harvard? Stanford? or even Columbia (Missouri, that is) ? The answer was "None of the Above". His surprise selection was Southeast Missouri State University, right there in dear old Cape Girardeau, near Mommy and Daddy.
I didn't know much about Southeast Missouri State, so I went to their web site to find out about their law school. No such luck. Apparently, they don't have a law school. They have a pre-law undergraduate program, but no law school. Maybe they dropped it after he graduated or something. So I went to their page that touts distinguished alumni. Certainly a distinguished alumni such as Rush Limbaugh would be at the top of their list. Again, no such luck. Not a word about Rush Limbaugh on the entire web site.
So I did a google for Rush's higher education and ran across an unauthorized biography of Rush by Paul Colford (which you can buy from Amazon for $.01) which quoted Rush's mother as saying that Rush dropped out of college after two semesters and one summer. According to his mother, he flunked everything he took, including modern ballroom dancing. So much for carrying on the family tradition.
So now that his dream of being a distinguished lawyer and public servant has been given a setback, what is a fine patriotic 19 year old to do in 1970? If he can't serve his country through public service, he certainly would serve his country by enlisting in the Army and proudly serving in Vietnam, wouldn't he? After all, wasn't he once quoted as saying "If you talk to a real soldier, they are proud to serve. They want to be over in Iraq. They understand their sacrifice, and they're willing to sacrifice for their country." So I tried to do some research on Rush's military service. Again, none to be found. It turns out that Rush was classified as 1-Y by his draft board . This meant that Rush was qualified to serve only in time of war or national emergency (apparently Vietnam did not qualify as a war, much to my amazement since I served in Nam. It sure looked like a war, it smelled like a war, and it certainly felt like a war. I guess it was just a duck). Back then, people classified 1-Y were the people drafted after everyone classified 1-A was dead. At least I think that is the definition of a national emergency.
But why would his draft board refuse to let this fine patriotic boy fight for his country? What possible ailment could keep young Rush from fulfilling his dream of serving his country? He had a "pilonidal cyst." I will let you do your own research as to what a pilonidal cyst is, but suffice it to say that this condition goes a long way in answering a lot of unanswered questions about Rush's personality. In fact, this condition should be renamed in Rush's honor.
So Rush joins a long list of distinguished Republicans that were foiled in their attempts to serve their country during the Vietnam war ( excuse me, the Vietnam duck). Men like Dick Cheney, Newt Gringrich, Pat Buchannon, Jack Kemp and Ken Starr. A virtual who's who of the Republican Party. Men who cheered our soldiers on from afar. Men who stood behind (literally) our men no matter where in the world they were sent to defend our freedom.
So Rush is now left with only one option to serve his country. He makes the ultimate sacrifice for his country by becoming - a disc jockey. And not a very good one, by some reports. He was so bad that he was forced to use assumed identities on air.
But eventually he found his true calling - talk radio. It was the perfect vocation for him. He could say what he wanted, whether it was true or not. He never had to confront anyone face to face. He could pre-screen all callers so that only people who agree with him make it on air. And on top of that, he makes over $30 million a year. All that while sitting on his pilonidal cyst for three hours a day. What's not to like about that?
So now I have a clearer picture of the man that would be the savior of the Republican Party. He is a college dropout who never served a day in the military, never ran for public office, believes in the sanctity of marriage as long as divorce remains a viable option, and never ventures outside his radio studio. Sounds like the perfect man to lead Lincoln's party out of the desert to me.
First, I researched his early years. I found that he was born in Cape Girardeau, Missouri in 1951. He came from a prominent family of well respected lawyers, including a federal judge, a State Supreme Court judge, and a member of Missouri's House of Representatives. In fact, the Federal Courthouse in Cape Girardeau is named for Limbaugh's grandfather. His family had a long tradition of public service.
By now, I was curious to find out which prestigious law school Little Little Rush (he was the Third, after all, so his father would be Little Rush) would chose to attend. With such pedigree, he surely had his pick. Would it be Yale? Harvard? Stanford? or even Columbia (Missouri, that is) ? The answer was "None of the Above". His surprise selection was Southeast Missouri State University, right there in dear old Cape Girardeau, near Mommy and Daddy.
I didn't know much about Southeast Missouri State, so I went to their web site to find out about their law school. No such luck. Apparently, they don't have a law school. They have a pre-law undergraduate program, but no law school. Maybe they dropped it after he graduated or something. So I went to their page that touts distinguished alumni. Certainly a distinguished alumni such as Rush Limbaugh would be at the top of their list. Again, no such luck. Not a word about Rush Limbaugh on the entire web site.
So I did a google for Rush's higher education and ran across an unauthorized biography of Rush by Paul Colford (which you can buy from Amazon for $.01) which quoted Rush's mother as saying that Rush dropped out of college after two semesters and one summer. According to his mother, he flunked everything he took, including modern ballroom dancing. So much for carrying on the family tradition.
So now that his dream of being a distinguished lawyer and public servant has been given a setback, what is a fine patriotic 19 year old to do in 1970? If he can't serve his country through public service, he certainly would serve his country by enlisting in the Army and proudly serving in Vietnam, wouldn't he? After all, wasn't he once quoted as saying "If you talk to a real soldier, they are proud to serve. They want to be over in Iraq. They understand their sacrifice, and they're willing to sacrifice for their country." So I tried to do some research on Rush's military service. Again, none to be found. It turns out that Rush was classified as 1-Y by his draft board . This meant that Rush was qualified to serve only in time of war or national emergency (apparently Vietnam did not qualify as a war, much to my amazement since I served in Nam. It sure looked like a war, it smelled like a war, and it certainly felt like a war. I guess it was just a duck). Back then, people classified 1-Y were the people drafted after everyone classified 1-A was dead. At least I think that is the definition of a national emergency.
But why would his draft board refuse to let this fine patriotic boy fight for his country? What possible ailment could keep young Rush from fulfilling his dream of serving his country? He had a "pilonidal cyst." I will let you do your own research as to what a pilonidal cyst is, but suffice it to say that this condition goes a long way in answering a lot of unanswered questions about Rush's personality. In fact, this condition should be renamed in Rush's honor.
So Rush joins a long list of distinguished Republicans that were foiled in their attempts to serve their country during the Vietnam war ( excuse me, the Vietnam duck). Men like Dick Cheney, Newt Gringrich, Pat Buchannon, Jack Kemp and Ken Starr. A virtual who's who of the Republican Party. Men who cheered our soldiers on from afar. Men who stood behind (literally) our men no matter where in the world they were sent to defend our freedom.
So Rush is now left with only one option to serve his country. He makes the ultimate sacrifice for his country by becoming - a disc jockey. And not a very good one, by some reports. He was so bad that he was forced to use assumed identities on air.
But eventually he found his true calling - talk radio. It was the perfect vocation for him. He could say what he wanted, whether it was true or not. He never had to confront anyone face to face. He could pre-screen all callers so that only people who agree with him make it on air. And on top of that, he makes over $30 million a year. All that while sitting on his pilonidal cyst for three hours a day. What's not to like about that?
So now I have a clearer picture of the man that would be the savior of the Republican Party. He is a college dropout who never served a day in the military, never ran for public office, believes in the sanctity of marriage as long as divorce remains a viable option, and never ventures outside his radio studio. Sounds like the perfect man to lead Lincoln's party out of the desert to me.
posted by Senor at 11:46 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home